Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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