let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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