Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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