The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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