i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
