Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
