Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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