I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
