with your own penis?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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