I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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