wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
accomplished twins. life is a go
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
