Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
