I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
