Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize