we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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