We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
