I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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