u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
