That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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