I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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