so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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