Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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