I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
