if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
