At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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