So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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