Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is http://tfl.nu/xff6
  Replies (3) Good night (703) Bad night (1199)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk http://tfl.nu/7pu8
  Replies (85) Good night (5545) Bad night (768)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass (901): fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings http://tfl.nu/b0u6
  Replies (118) Good night (4401) Bad night (1353)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo http://tfl.nu/aw10
  Replies (30) Good night (5846) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life. http://tfl.nu/04rm
  Replies (63) Good night (1097) Bad night (5258)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"

  (760): View more from California

  When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex" (760): When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely." http://tfl.nu/jlap
  Replies (19) Good night (6900) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in. http://tfl.nu/8v36
  Replies (11) Good night (1462) Bad night (2735)
• Favorite

  (343): View more from Ontario

  I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (343): I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time http://tfl.nu/okao
  Replies (3) Good night (3106) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier. http://tfl.nu/n87w
  Replies (5) Good night (3614) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly http://tfl.nu/snl2
  Replies (7) Good night (2575) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves http://tfl.nu/ye71
  Replies (4) Good night (515) Bad night (1518)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (308): In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge. http://tfl.nu/2ycl
  Replies (22) Good night (1504) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious. http://tfl.nu/mvzv
  Replies (4) Good night (932) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet. http://tfl.nu/90zb
  Replies (0) Good night (416) Bad night (198)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team. http://tfl.nu/xqxm
  Replies (10) Good night (446) Bad night (271)

Randomize