I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.