Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.

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(718): View more from New York

They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(352): View more from Florida

we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.

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(360): View more from Washington

Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger

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