so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
