Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
