YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
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She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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