You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
