Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
