So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
