we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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