I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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