: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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