She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I need to stop coming to work sober
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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