So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
