I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
