I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
