fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
