So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
