So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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