exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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