Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
