I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
love makes seman taste better
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
