Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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