bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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