why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
