I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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