Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
