my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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