You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Why did my mother make you get naked?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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