You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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