How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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