First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
