belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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