love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
