90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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