i jhust puked up my retainher.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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