PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
