So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
