I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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