Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
