I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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