Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Small penises have feelings too.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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