Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
