CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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