the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize