If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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