I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
