I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
