There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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