My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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