I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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