So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
