i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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